LGBTQ+ Solo Travel: How to Meet People and Find Your Crowd

Traveling alone as an LGBTQ+ person comes with an extra layer of homework. Before you can think about where to eat or who to meet, you're checking whether you can hold hands in the street, whether the guesthouse will be weird about it, and whether the people at tonight's table will be.

The good news is that queer community travels well. Almost every big city has one that's used to welcoming visitors, and some of the best travel friendships start with the quiet relief of realising the people at your table are your people. Here's how to find them.

Do the homework first

Laws and attitudes vary hugely between countries, and sometimes between a capital and the rest of the country. Before you book, check:

• The law. ILGA World publishes maps of LGBTQ+ laws around the world, and many governments' travel advice pages have an LGBTQ+ section for each country.
• The local feel. Legal and comfortable aren't the same thing. Read recent accounts from LGBTQ+ travelers, ideally people who share your identity: a gay man, a lesbian couple and a trans woman can have very different experiences of the same city.
• Your documents. If your passport doesn't match how you present, look up the airport and border experience on your route in advance.

Cities that make it easy

Some cities have queer life woven into the everyday, with neighbourhoods, bars, bookshops and events that welcome visitors. A few LGBTQ+ travelers come back to again and again: Berlin, Barcelona, Lisbon, Copenhagen, London, Mexico City, Buenos Aires, São Paulo, Toronto, New York, Sydney and Bangkok.

Plan around Pride

Pride is the easiest week of the year to arrive alone: the whole city is in the street and everyone's in a good mood. Sydney's Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras runs through February and into March. Much of Europe and the Americas celebrates in June, and São Paulo's parade is one of the biggest anywhere. Madrid, Berlin and Copenhagen follow through the summer. Dates move every year, so check before you book, and book early, because beds go fast.

Where to meet people (that isn't a dating app)

A lot of LGBTQ+ travelers end up on dating apps because they show who's nearby. But they're built for dating, and when what you want is a friend, a dinner or someone to show you the scene, everyone's slightly at cross purposes. Better places to start:

• LGBTQ+ friendly plans on Suppertime. Hosts can mark a plan LGBTQ+ friendly, so you know before you join that the table is welcoming. A dinner, a hike, a drink with other travelers, no swiping involved.
• Queer sports and run clubs. FrontRunners, an LGBTQ+ running club, has groups in cities around the world, and most big cities have queer football, swimming or volleyball clubs. Many welcome visitors for a session.
• Queer bookshops and cafés. Often the real community hubs, with notice boards, readings and events. The staff will tell you what's on this week.
• LGBTQ+ history tours. Many cities have them, and they're a good way to learn the city and meet other queer travelers at the same time.
• The bars, early. Gay and lesbian bars are friendlier at 8pm than at 1am. Go early, sit at the bar, and ask the bartender where people go.

Staying safe

Everything in our safety checklist for meeting people from apps applies, plus a few things specific to LGBTQ+ travelers:

• Be careful with dating apps where it's illegal. In countries that criminalise same-sex relationships, police and criminals have used fake dating profiles to target people. Meet in public, keep chats vague, and lean on group plans over one-to-one meetups.
• Read the room. Being yourself is part of the point of the trip, and in most of the cities above nobody will blink. Elsewhere, it's fine to be selective about where and with whom.
• Keep a backup bed. If a guesthouse makes you uncomfortable, a free-cancellation booking somewhere else means you can just leave.

Find your table

The best thing about traveling as an LGBTQ+ person is how fast community happens: the stranger who becomes your guide to the scene, the dinner that turns into a night out. Suppertime makes that easier to find. Open it in any city, look for plans marked LGBTQ+ friendly, and join one, or host your own and mark it friendly. Everyone's welcome; the label tells you it's a table where you can be yourself. It's free on iOS.